Letters to Ayane

Dear sister,
I could ask you if you've been well, but I doubt your answer would ever change.
So instead I'll ask ; What have you been watching lately?

As for me, life hasn't changed much since the last time I wrote to you.
I'm still cleaning stuff for the Kobayashi family, I wish they would pay me more.
Then I wouldn't have to stay here and I could go back to where you are.

Is mom doing well? How about father?

I'm sorry for not having been able to come over during Obon.
I promise I'll come next year.

There so many things I wish you could see here, the world is a really really strange place after all.

I'll write again soon.

Saeko

I look at the content of the letter once again before I finally put it in the envelope and seal it.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm writing these letters, sometimes I wonder why I never get an answer, and then I realize that it doesn't matter if Ayane never answers, at least she will know I care.
Maybe I'm writing these letters for myself,maybe I'm writing them for Hide since he's not able to write anything to you anymore.

Putting those thoughts aside I head out for a while, it's 2am and I'll probably have work to do tonight, better get ready.
Just as I finish eating some rice crackers I feel something vibrating in my pocket.

I almost smile to myself, just as planned I have some "cleaning" to do.

Riding down the Yamanote line I finally reach Shibuya, I cross the road and I wonder when did living in Tokyo become so natural that the mass of people crossing at Shibuya doesn't phase me anymore.

I'm almost there, left, left, right, there. I slip between two buildings, walking with barely enough space for me to walk my hands in my pocket.
I wonder how Mr Kobayashi does it, if the place is hard to reach even for my small frame, how does he manage to get through?

I push the garage's door and enter what looks more like a cave than a garage.
Sliding one of the doors on the right side I walk down the humid stairs, after about a minute I finally open the door to my workplace.

- Yo Saeko, you're here early !
A forty-something old man stands near a beaten up younger man tied to a chair.
A computer glimmers in the back of the room, lazily displayed on a cheap table, cables galore.

- Mr Kobayashi, I've heard I've got some "cleaning" to do?

The older man nods as the injured one looks widely at the young woman that just entered.
Mr Kobayashi then points over to the computer "Don't worry just the usual, we've got some encrypted infos to retrieve from our little friend's account and I wish for you to clean up the mess we managed to retrieve so far"

I nodded and went over to the computer, the injured man let out a sigh of relief when he realized the kind of cleaning Kobayashi was talking about didn't mean me chopping him to pieces.
Noticing this, Mr Kobayashi smirked, corners of his mouth rising so high I thought his jaw would eventually drop.

- Don't worry there little one, there's no way I would ask Sacchan to put her delicate hands on your filth, you'll have to wait for Kujira to pick you up.

The name rang a bell in the poor man's head, the man they nicknamed Kujira (The whale) was known for dismembering victims of the yakuza and drop the parts here and there on small islands in the Tokyo bay. He was rumored to be weighing a good 200kg and despite have quite a  butcher's job, refused to eat any kind of meat or fish besides Krill (Look up Okiami), not that anyone had ever seen what the man looked like.

As the man started to frantically try to loosen the ropes tying him up, Kobayashi made his way towards the exit.

- Ah, Saeko, you can leave once you're done, if Miyabi comes around tell her not to wait on me.

I nodded once more, concentrating on the pieces of encrypted code in front of my eyes, doing my best to ignore the whining noises the prisoner made nearby.
Sure enough I didn't care to look at him. I was here to clean, to decode the encrypted informations before my eyes and re arrange them so they would be intelligible to common people.

I've never thought I'd do one of these jobs ever, but before I realized it I had been working for 3 years with Mr Kobayashi and his wife and their not so presentable friends.

After maybe an hour of hard work, I was almost done. That's when, as predicted Mrs Kobayashi showed up, all dolled up like if she were still in her 20's.

- Sacchan ! You were there ! Aw I see he's left you alone with a guest again, this man will never learn.

Miyabi was a tall woman with a curvaceous body, more than you'd usually expect someone to be. Her beauty was starting to fade with her youth but she still looked attractive to most men, or so it seemed.
I was never sure whether she was actually called Miyabi or if her husband just called her that because she was quite the heart-breaker. She would however answer to that name.

She held a plastic bag containing a few snacks, low fat products like signals of a slowing metabolism.

I stopped for a minute to listen to what Mrs Kobayashi had to say, thinking all the while that she smelled like another man's cologne.
I liked Miyabi very much, she would always care for me like a mother.
I never dared to ask why she didn't have kids, I assumed she couldn't and thought that maybe that was why she had taken a liking to me and made sure that I was treated well, even when surrounded by criminals.

What I understood of her character was that she probably felt really empty being the wife of a man who bought her anything she wanted to make up for the fact he wasn't being much of a lover to her anymore. And that might've been why she cheated on him so.

Nevertheless I enjoyed the times where we would exchange small-talk like regular people.
Maybe if it wasn't for her I would've lost all sense of reality now, I'd be trapped in this gangster world where I don't belong.

Eventually I finished my work and bid Miyabi farewell.

The sun was beginning to rise and I was headed home. It's funny how this city never seems to quiet down. I pass by worn out faces, drunkards coming home and salarymen on the early rise.

As I reached home I let myself fall on my bed, sliding off my clothes like a snake changes skin, feeling suddenly a lot more myself as the cold air hit my fully exposed body.

I set up my phone to wake me in the early afternoon. I needed some sleep and since I was probably done with work for a day or two I thought I might as well step by the hospital.

When was the last time I saw Hide? Maybe a month ago, maybe two...

I felt the image of him and my sister when they were together come back to me with a force, carve itself on my lids as I feel asleep.